Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
