i don't like sucking hair
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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