between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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