That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
