maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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