I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
