Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
should my penis look like a turkey
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
