he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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