his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
