Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
