If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
