My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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