i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
