I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
