i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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