dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
she looked like the before picture.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
