I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
