dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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