Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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