I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
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