he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
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