Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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