Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
