so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
