You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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