some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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