what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
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