it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
