i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
