Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
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