thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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