i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
