addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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