haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Randomize
