The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
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