He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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