Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
what day is it and did you see me today?
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
