flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
