Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
