He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I believe in your delicious
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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