Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
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