I haven't been this sober since birth.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize
