we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I FOUND THE LEGS
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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