toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
