I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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