i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
