VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
