you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
