Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
