dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Too much gin, very little bucket
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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