she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
