What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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