Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
It was a blind-side dick pic.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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