just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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