I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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