YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Randomize
