It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
